The ability to continue living and allow for joy to be felt after a loved one has died, is something that we need as humans, while we still feel the loss intensely at various points throughout the remainder of our lives. At least this is true for me, and probably for most people as I am not unique. Much, as you describe in your latest post, hits home with me. In fact, there was a time when I couldn't understand how strangers around me were able to move about their days as if the universe had not been torn in two as death took someone so special and dear from me. Like you, I have found a way to hold an array of emotions and enjoy them, even the sorrowful ones as these are part of a healthy and full human experience.
All of this. Going on 4 1/2 years since my Ned went, yesterday I was sitting on the porch enjoying some sun, looking at the water, and the first swallowtail butterfly I've seen appeared. It flew to me and fluttered circles around me very close, buzzed off, came back and circled more. I smiled and whispered, "Hi Neddy."
One challenge I have learned as time has gone on, is I forget to cry. And it's still in there, always will be as that well is bottomless. There have been times when I've started feeling strange and tweaked, and then realize that it's past time to pause, acknowledge, and let them flow. Crying when and where I needed to (driving, mowing the lawn, in the supermarket, staggering up to the mailbox, etc...) especially in those first few years literally kept me out of the hospital. Cry, girl, it's just love.
Your “Saturday, Taking Stock” coincides with today’s Pigeon Fest on the High Line. I imagine your Zoe would have been thrilled. May her memory be for a blessing.
The ability to continue living and allow for joy to be felt after a loved one has died, is something that we need as humans, while we still feel the loss intensely at various points throughout the remainder of our lives. At least this is true for me, and probably for most people as I am not unique. Much, as you describe in your latest post, hits home with me. In fact, there was a time when I couldn't understand how strangers around me were able to move about their days as if the universe had not been torn in two as death took someone so special and dear from me. Like you, I have found a way to hold an array of emotions and enjoy them, even the sorrowful ones as these are part of a healthy and full human experience.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Victoria. I've experienced this in different ways with my earlier losses too.
Such a beautiful post, Lisa, thank you <3 <3
Thank you so much for reading, Nina!❤️
All of this. Going on 4 1/2 years since my Ned went, yesterday I was sitting on the porch enjoying some sun, looking at the water, and the first swallowtail butterfly I've seen appeared. It flew to me and fluttered circles around me very close, buzzed off, came back and circled more. I smiled and whispered, "Hi Neddy."
One challenge I have learned as time has gone on, is I forget to cry. And it's still in there, always will be as that well is bottomless. There have been times when I've started feeling strange and tweaked, and then realize that it's past time to pause, acknowledge, and let them flow. Crying when and where I needed to (driving, mowing the lawn, in the supermarket, staggering up to the mailbox, etc...) especially in those first few years literally kept me out of the hospital. Cry, girl, it's just love.
Love this so much, and you too, Carla <3
https://substack.com/profile/41622962-a-spoonful-of-wisdom/note/c-108167030?r=os4he&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Grief and growth
Your “Saturday, Taking Stock” coincides with today’s Pigeon Fest on the High Line. I imagine your Zoe would have been thrilled. May her memory be for a blessing.
https://www.thehighline.org/pigeonfest/
“Spread the Zoe around.”
🦆Debra
Thank you so much, Debra! I didn't know about Pigeon Fest until this very moment. Zoe would indeed have loved it.
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Thank you!!
I am glad to be hearing your voice. Very real, very true, very generous. “Spread the Zoe around” :)